The birthday questions.

(a half dozen reflections you can ponder on your next big day.)

It's my birthday.

I'm 42 years old. Which I'm thrilled about, because I have a sneaking suspicion that the year ahead will be the best one yet.

Today I'll head out to my favourite spot, with Kaitlin, my favourite person. We'll enjoy a long lunch and maybe a few too many glasses of wine. We'll take a swim at Wategos, my favourite beach in the world. I'll also have the indulgence of answering the birthday questions—an annual reflection on how I'm living my one wild and precious life.

While they change a little every year, here are the birthday questions in 2025:

"Look back a year. Who were you then? Who are you now?"

"What single moment from this year will stay with you forever?"

"How did you live beyond yourself?"

"What was your deepest valley this year? Your highest peak? What did you learn in each place?"

"Who held the light for you?"

"Who are you becoming in this next year?"

When your birthday comes around, happy birthday. If it flows to try these questions, please indulge yourself (it's your day). If other questions bubble up, please share them with me; I'd love to learn from you.

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If you are curious, here are my answers to this year's birthday questions.

"Look back a year. Who were you then? Who are you now?"

While it was diminishing, I was still letting go of the story of myself as an entrepreneur after selling a business I had co-founded. I had the clothes I'd worn during that time, the bag I'd travel with, the hotels I'd stay in on work trips, the work habits that had defined me. But this year that version of me has faded into the past almost entirely. I feel like I'm an author now, which has taken time to evolve. I try to live that out each day and the sense of being an imposter in that space is going. This version of me has different clothes. He has a different bag when he travels and stays in different hotels. He spends his days differently. It's a different chapter of my life.

"What single moment from this year will stay with you forever?"

A night in Granada, Nicaragua where we took a small boat out on the lake to a tiny island. We had a simple dinner as a family, just the four of us in a lakeside hut. The light was perfect. I loved you all so much.

"How did you live beyond yourself?"

Booking a one-way flight for the four of us to Uruguay on December 20th for a year-long around-the-world journey in 2026 required a level of guts and a spirit of adventure that I hadn't felt since we booked a one-way flight to Kenya in 2007. It was scary for a moment, then it was very quickly just incredibly exciting.

"What was your deepest valley this year? Your highest peak? What did each teach you?"

I finished my book Far Horizons this year, which took more than a decade. Then I got to work trying to find an agent and a publisher. I reached out to more than a hundred and didn't hear back from 95 of them. Four sent me templated emails back with my name pasted in at the top. One wrote me a personal email, said he couldn't help me, but told me to keep going. I think my 110th email was the one that secured me the publisher that is releasing the book next month, which will be the peak moment. I learned down in the valley that rejection is the price of admission. I'm learning at the peak that it was all worth it.

"Who held the light for you?"

Interestingly, these were people with whom I spent quality time this year. Friends where we had more time than just a short catch-up, and instead spent many hours by the water or over long dinners we cooked together. Courtney and Michael Adamo hosted us at their beautiful home on the East Coast of Australia and, in turn, inspired us to travel the world for all of 2026. Banks and Lisa Benitez spent four nights with us in Granada, Nicaragua and inspired me to strive for excellence this year, and not settle for anything less. Thank you, friends.

"Who are you becoming in this next year?"

Two things. An author, confident in my voice and story and how I turn up each day. And an adventurer who will find himself back in South American villages and African savannahs.